1000 Awesome Things About India

When I was young, or not so young (Just to remind you, I am still young! ), I used to ask my father and my mother to tell me about their wedding. They did not like to do it too, much claiming that they had forgotten. However,the thing is that I am fascinated by weddings. This fascination was not just about the pomp and the grandeur of an Indian wedding. Very simply, I wanted to be the groom.

It is because I want to be at the center of attraction, the cynosure of all eyes. Everybody fretted and fussed over the groom, for a few days at least everyone was there to attend to him and indulge his whims. He got the first choice, the most attention. After watching many Hollywood and Bollywood movies I learnt that the same treatment is given to death row inmates an hour before their execution.

It is never simple. Never easy. You don't control it. You become a mere player. The strings are pulled by a council of family members headed by the parents, the grand parents and the rest.There's always communication between the two families: 'wedding ceremony, your type or ours?' 'mangal suthr, your type or ours or both?' and so on.If you are not from India and you are wondering what the heck is going on around here... Well, that's how we do our weddings here. Even our simplest wedding would grand in your eyes.

Firstly a marriage ceremony is so lengthy and ends up being such torture that no one in their right mind would ever get married twice. That's the problem with Christian marriages: they are too small and painless. Hence the high divorce rate in Western countries. Over here we have perfected a marriage technique so that the groom over and over again is reminded of
his responsibilities. He is made to sit in revealing clothing so that people can see he is more or less physically ok. His suppleness is tested by the ballerina toes, his intuition by putting the vermilion without looking at the bride, how easily he can part with cash by all the tips he has to give to all and sundry, and in sum his patience is tested all throughout. The upshot is you would never again want to go through with this!

Few things that you learn only when you become a groom (Confessions of a Groom):

1.)Mystery Of tying a Dhoti - I have always found that the dhoti reveals more than it conceals. Plus it is held up by a wonder of knot tying. One false move, and you were likely to be exposed and that too on the biggest night of your life. (However,Now a days its hard to see a groom wearing Dhoti!)

//Dhoti is a piece of cloth with no stitching (anywhere)!

2.)Shopping is something that is always a pain even in the best of times. It’s even less fun when your in-laws take you our for shopping.

3.)A Groom realized that his question of being important. It was a matter of being made the center of a huge joke. It was some sort of Govinda comedy in which nothing made sense. Except that everyone (except the people who were running from pillar to post) were enjoying it. 

4.)Auntis pulling legs- Of Course, they are trying to be friendly. But somehow when you are missing your wife (you are not supposed to see her for a few days before the marriage or something to that effect) - its not exactly what you like to hear.

5.)The strip tease show where groom would have to stand bare-torso in front of a gaggle of middle-aged women (aunts and neighbors) while he will be smeared with turmeric and then bathed.

6.) Video Camera guys - You would be blinded for the most of the cermony (Thanks to invention of Flash!)

7.)Stealing the grooms shoes. The tradition is that the groom is supposed to be teased and then asked to pay his in-laws to get his shoes back.

8.)During your own wedding, food is the last thing on your mind.

All this and zillions of other small things, Hey, Am still a bachelor (But after researching for this post feel like 50% married)!

To do justice,Hope to write someday imagining myself as a bride because  the events associated with Groom are a cool breeze when compared to hurricane rituals that the Bride has to go through! Keeping few sweet pains aside (i admit,i highlighted the pains!) An Indian Wedding is the most memorable event in an Indian family. Its like having one's own Disney Land for few days.In India, Wedding is considered a very holy ceremony and i think its this very nature of the ceremony ( & blessing of elders )that keeps an Indian couple together for life.

If you are not from India and have not seen any Indian Wedding, It would say add it to your list of "Grand Occasion to attend before I die " List!

You can find conventional terminology & the entire process (Guide for Dummies) at http://www.indianweddingsite.com/traditions/traditions.php

@Married Readers: Give this post a 'married' touch by your experienced comments 

@Bachelors - 'Get Married,Its later than you think!'